So much delicious World of Warcraft content.

It had been far too long since I took part in a Shared Topic over at Blog Azeroth, so I decided that I would write something on whatever the most recent topic was.

It would not be uncommon to hear about the initial release of World of Warcraft as Vanilla or Classic. In terms of ice cream or gelato (which is my preference), Vanilla was once considered the most popular flavour of it’s time. So if Vanilla represents Classic WoW, what flavours could represent the following expansions?

 

Ice cream.  The gauntlet had been thrown down.  Mostly because I don’t really eat ice cream anymore, and therefore have very few points of reference to draw on.  But since when have I let my lack of knowledge of a subject prevent me from posting about it?

To the INTERNET!

Specifically to The Food Channel to find out some popular ice cream flavors and educate myself so I didn’t sound like a complete idiot.  (Editor’s Note — You failed as soon as you started typing this post.)

Next, I re-read the suggested topic.  I agree that the O.G. World of Warcraft is considered vanilla, but more along the lines of the Urban Dictionary’s definition of it – Unexciting, normal, conventional, boring.  It was a building block that, while delicious, could be made to taste better if you added some chocolate syrup or sprinkles to it.  So let’s look at those sprinkles, shall we?

The expansion that brought us Squid Chins and the Metrosexual Elves

The Burning Crusade was the first expansion to come out for World of Warcraft.  According to many raiders, this was THE expansion.  The content was difficult, it kicked much ass, and succeeding with these raids gave people bragging rights to impress the handful of people who were impressed by that sort of thing.

It also introduced two more races, more content in the form of an entirely new planet, and many more levels.  BC was a solid building block, adding much flavour to the vanilla game.  Not so much different, just more solid yummy goodness.

Therefore the flavour of the Burning Crusade is Chocolate.

It’s basically delicious!

I think I’m getting the hang of this.

What death-flavored ice cream would look like.

Wrath of the Lich King brought the thunder in a big way, breaking all sorts of purchasing records right out of the gate.  It introduced the continent of Northrend, the Heroic Class of Death Knights, and the Lich King himself kept popping up throughout your questing experience.  It was a tasty expansion.  Too tasty.  People suffered burnout and unsubscribed from too much Wrath and not enough of anything else.  They became sick of the content, and bored after doing the same things over and over again.  Many players actually grew to resent Wrath for being too good, then too bad.

So what ice cream offers so much to many people, is very yummy, but will just make you sick if you eat too much of it?  I didn’t need the Internet for this answer.  I just drew on personal experience.

Therefore Wrath of the Lich King is a Banana Split. (Editor’s Note — I think you’re doing this wrong.)

Wrath of the Banana King?

Strange.  I find myself getting hungry writing this article.  Moving on.

Deathwing will wreck yo’ shit.

Cataclysm was the third expansion to come out, but it didn’t bring as much to the table as the previous two expansions did.  It took Vanilla content and stomped a mudhole in it, changing a great deal of the 1 – 60 leveling experience.  Outland and Northrend were untouched, and five new zones were added for 80 -85 questing.  Goblins and Worgen were introduced as well.  Critics loved the game, and subscribers swelled to the twelve million mark.  But those numbers started declining, and haven’t really stopped decreasing since 2011.  Cata was good, but people were getting sick of ice cream by this point.  They politely ate as much as they could, then pushed their bowl away and left the table.  For many people, it was just too much.

For me, Cataclysm is a Chocolate Ice Cream Cake Roll – described as a thin, rich chocolate sponge cake spread with your favorite ice cream rolled up and frozen, then before serving it’s covered in a luscious chocolate ganache.  (Editor’s Note — Ganache? Seriously?  I give up.)

Cataclysmic to your waistline.

Well that’s my shared topic.  If anyone needs me, I’ll be at Dairy Queen for the next week.